How to Work with Your Emotions: A Forged Will Approach

Introduction: My Journey with Emotions

Emotions are a big part of life. They can feel overwhelming, confusing, or even out of control sometimes. For a long time, I’ve been curious about how emotions work and how we can influence them in a healthy way.

Through my journey, I’ve realized that we don’t need to understand everything about emotions to make meaningful changes. What matters is that we approach our emotions with care, curiosity, and a willingness to try.

Science has taught us a lot about emotions—they’re not as automatic or fixed as they seem. Researchers like Lisa Feldman Barrett have shown that emotions aren’t hardwired into us but are built through a mix of our body’s reactions, our environment, and how we interpret what’s happening. By making small changes in one of these areas, we can often shift how we feel.

1. What We Know About Emotions

At its core, emotions come from three big parts working together:

1. Your Environment: This includes where you are, who you’re with, and what’s happening around you.

2. Your Body: The physical changes you feel, like your heart beating faster, shallow breathing, or tense muscles.

3. Your Thoughts: The stories you tell yourself to explain how you feel.

This idea is supported by modern research, like Barrett’s work on how the brain “constructs” emotions based on predictions and past experiences. For example, if you’re about to give a big speech, your heart might race. If you think, “This is scary, I’m going to fail,” you’ll feel nervous. But if you think, “I’m excited—this is my chance to shine!” you might feel energized instead.

2. What We Don’t Know (and That’s Okay)

For everything we’ve learned about emotions, some big questions remain unanswered:

• Are emotions built into us from birth, or do we learn them as we grow?

• Does your body react first, or does your mind decide what’s happening?

Some scientists, like those behind the James-Lange theory, believe emotions start in the body. Others, like Barrett, argue that emotions are constructed from a mix of body signals, brain predictions, and culture.

The important thing is that we don’t have to wait for all the answers to start working with our emotions. What we know now is enough to help us take meaningful steps.

3. How to Work with Emotions

Even though emotions are complicated, there are simple ways to work with them. Here are three approaches I’ve found helpful:

Change Your Environment

• What I do: When I feel stressed, I change my surroundings—whether by stepping outside, organizing my space, or spending time in a calm environment.

• Why it works: Studies in environmental psychology show that our surroundings affect how we feel. A clean, quiet, or natural space can help your brain and body reset.

Try this: Step outside for fresh air, find a quiet space, or tidy up a cluttered area to feel calmer and more in control.

Calm Your Body

• What I do: When I feel anxious, I use simple breathing exercises. Slowing down my breathing helps me feel more grounded.

• Why it works: Controlled breathing calms the nervous system and reduces stress, as supported by research on relaxation techniques.

Try this: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, and exhale for 4 seconds. Repeat a few times to feel more centered.

Shift Your Thoughts

• What I do: Reframing anxiety as excitement has been one of the most helpful tools for me. Instead of thinking, “I’m scared,” I think, “This is my body getting ready to do something important.”

• Why it works: This idea is rooted in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps people reframe their thoughts to feel more in control.

Try this: When you’re feeling nervous, ask yourself, “Could this energy mean I’m excited to try something new?”

4. Accepting What You Can’t Control

Sometimes, emotions don’t change as quickly as we’d like, and that’s okay. Small actions—like taking a deep breath or stepping outside—can still help over time.

Emotions are like complex systems: small shifts can lead to big changes, but not always in predictable ways. This idea mirrors chaos theory, which shows how tiny inputs can make a big difference in complicated systems.

In the Forged Will philosophy, our goal isn’t perfect control. It’s about increasing the chance of positive change while accepting the uncertainty that comes with it. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.

5. Why This Matters

Working with emotions isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about building stronger connections with others and navigating challenges in healthier ways.

When we learn to understand and regulate our emotions, we create more supportive, compassionate environments. This ties back to the Forged Will philosophy: even in a world full of uncertainty, we have the power to shape our own path, one small step at a time.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need perfect knowledge to make meaningful changes in how you feel. Start where you are, try small actions like breathing deeply or reframing your thoughts, and see what works for you.

Emotions may feel messy and unpredictable, but that’s part of what makes life worth exploring. With curiosity and care, we can all learn to work with our emotions—and forge something meaningful from them.

Acknowledged Influences and Inspirations

This exploration is informed by concepts from:

• Lisa Feldman Barrett’s work on constructed emotions.

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and its focus on reframing thoughts.

• Environmental psychology, which highlights how surroundings shape mood.

• Chaos theory, for its insights into small shifts in complex systems.

While these ideas provide a foundation, the Forged Will philosophy integrates these influences into a broader approach to living with intention and purpose.